Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Invisible Kinky

by Ivan Vargas

On this glorious day of, uh... Spring (well, let's call it that---the layers of clothes told a different story) I decided to hit the City and enjoy its sights. Everything was on time: the PATH was handed to me in a silver platter, and I was glowing all the way to Borders Bookstore on 34th and 7th where I was about to meet a date for an afternoon coffee. And then two things happened. The first was the discovery of what I thought was a long-lost dinosaur under a red awning that announced itself under the unglamorous name "Peep Show". The second, was that my stomach grumbled, almost in a reaction of negative emotion, a gut feeling if you will. Or maybe not. Who can tell? I've never been in one and I could swear they were eradicated with Giuliani's Giant Scrub Brush to a point where they existed in memory and Midnight Cowboy. So as I stood there, perplexed and facing an oncoming predicament, I took my iPhone out and shot this picture:



More, including the Spanish version, on next page...


and then this picture, closer:



And then off I took to take care of this baby I was about to give birth to. And make sure I looked stunning shortly thereafter.

At least I have proof that 'they do exist."

Perversiones Invisibles

por Ivan Vargas

En este día glorioso de, eh... primavera (bueno, dejémoslo ahí---las libras de ropa contaban otro cuento), decidí irme a la ciudad y disfrutar de las vistas. Todo estaba a tiempo: el PATH me lo entregaron en bandeja de plata, y estaba de risitas caminando hacia el Borders Bookstore en la 34 con Sétima donde me iba a encontrar con un amigo para un café. Y luego dos cosas pasaron. La primera fue el descubrimiento de lo que pensé era un dinosaurio bajo un toldo rojo que se anunciaba bajo el título poco glamoroso de "Peep Show". El segundo fue que mi tripas rugieron en reacción de emoción negativa. O tal vez no. Quién sabe? Nunca he entrado en uno de ellos y juré que los peep shows fueron erradicados por la mano dura de Giuliani a hasta un punto donde solo existen en la memoria y Cowboy de medianoche. Asi que mientras estuve parado ahi, perplejo y a punto de cagarme encima, tome mi iPhone y tome esta foto:



Y esta, mas de cerca.



y sali como una bala a encargarme de bebe que estaba a punto de parir. Y luego verme bello.

Al menos tengo la prueba de que "aun existen."

6 comments:

  1. Ivan, let me say what everyone is thinking: next time you go by, you must go in. And take pictures.

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  2. Definitely stop in! You can snap a picture from the outside but what I think everyone knows is the real story is behind the red awning.

    Welcome to the team.

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  3. Oh man I used to live at 37st & 9ave before I moved out to Brooklyn. I love that neighborhood! Though I know it was nowhere near as exciting (and dangerous) as it had been back in the day, the area between Penn Station, the Port Authority Bus Terminal, and the Lincoln Tunnel still retains a patina of scuzzy sexy charm. Enjoy it while it lasts--at least four luxury high rise rental buildings have opened within a block radius of my old corner, and even more are on the way up in the immediate area. Patronize that pervy palace!

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  4. Thanks, guys! Oh, I was tempted but nature wasn't calling--it was screaming...

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  5. Welcome, Ivan. Off to a great start, I'd say. Seeing these little relics of past cities is part of the fun of wandering.

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