Earlier today, firemen rushed to the Upper East Side Manhattan residence of prominent gay activist curmudgeon blogger Joe Jervis to battle smoke and flames threatening the building's occupants. Mr Jervis was not at home when the firemen arrived. Both his houseguest and beloved cat, Shelly, escaped uninjured.
It has also been reported that a woman dressed unseasonably in a pink maribou peignoir and described as resembling extreme homophobe bigot Maggie Gallaugher was extricated from the building's basement laundry room where her Prince Valiant hairdo had apparently become lodged in a window dryer vent during an attempt to escape the location of the fire's initiation. Neighbors reported that five FBI agents now being treated for smoke inhalation and the aforementioned woman had been holed up in the apartment directly above Mr. Jervis for two weeks playing Patsy Cline records, drilling holes and prowling about the building in attempts to spy on him.